SOUL MUD: Random Ramblings of my 24/7 Brain

This morning I received a message from a friend about raining (she actually said pooping...but I digress) on my parade.  It made me giggle because I tend to roll with the punches for the most part and blithely ignore party-"pooping."  So I got to thinking about my patterns and my life outlook on my drive in to work.  As I drove along, I realized that thoughts on this particular topic we colorful, whimsical like a carousel and I was literally waxing poetic in my own head as follows:     My Parade – By Autumn Boyet Stinton (May 25, 2017)   Every color and every feeling… Leaves me laughing, dancing, spinning, reeling. Noise and sound always flowing… Participants many, shrinking, growing. As fickle as my every whim… It is for my life a synonym.   I make it what I want you see… Inviting some to join with me.   The invitation is very clear… Join with me, Yes, I’m most sincere.   ...

The Cowboy Within – Autumn Boyet Stinton (October 23, 2016)   The renegade The rule breaker The hero The risk taker   The lover The fighter The poet The stay-up-all-night-er   The gentle The sweet The singer The ‘howdy’ to all they meet   The worker The player The boss The stay-er   The wild The complete The brave The antsy feet   The trier The dancer The winker The relentless romance-er   The calm The cool The leader   The wanderer The gamer The holder The ‘I’ll take the balme-er’   The hermit The social man The musician The ‘You bet I can’   The stern The tougher The achiever The can’t get enough-er   The ornery The mild The runner The fragile inner child   The traveler The finder The easy-going The gentle remind-er   The patient The buck-up The somber The don’t fuck up   This po...

If you haven't been....you have to go! This past summer, we had the glorious fortune of spending some time with friends on their ranch in Wyoming.  Both visits shifted something in me.    There is something powerful about being out on the open plains.  They are dry, dusty, solitary, desolate, yet full of life, potential and teaming with history that you can feel in the core of your being.  From a ridge overlooking vast nothingness, you begin to feel a connection with all that was, is and will be.  You feel lonesome and empty, but peaceful and whole.  The expanse is everything and nothing and you are innately connected to mother earth.  The morning sun caresses and coaxes to life every ridge, valley, pine needle and rock.  The sun's rays evaporate any chill and softly prod the bustle of daily activity - from the cattle that begin to graze to the smallest of insects who's work is never done.  As the day progresses,...

On a recent trip to Atlanta, on a particularly delightful evening, we found ourselves sitting on a restaurant patio with old and new friends, enjoying the company, the music and the beautiful spring evening.     As I settled into my chair, I sat and took a deep breath to soak in the evening and all the sounds, sights and smells.   I took a moment to glance over my menu and around the table and I the sight was truly amazing.   Dear friends to my left were leaned in sharing a moment with smiles on their faces.   Across the table, an old friend and a new friend were talking and filling the air with the sweet sound of their laughter.   To my right, my husband was quietly pursuing his menu and glanced up at me and winked sending my heart a-flutter.   All this while the patio around us hummed with conversation, music, and laughter combined with the detectible aromas of food and drink.   It really was a heavenly moment and there is nothing like st...

Admittedly, I am having growing pains.   Or maybe they are pangs.      By definition, growing pains are in the muscles, not the joints.   That makes a lot of sense to me at this stage in my life.   My “muscles” are set in their ways, and stretching and embracing something different is making my soul feel the burn. Alternatively, by definition, growing pangs are either emotional longing or a sharp, physical pain.   This too makes sense to me as I attempt to define what I am going through.   Either way, I think you get the gist of what I am talking about – tumult, difficult change, emotional havoc, and yes, even physical pain.     It all started just after I turned forty.   I was feeling comfortable.   I didn’t hate forty like I hated thirty, so I was in a comfortable groove.   And then, in the blink of an eye, I was blind-sided and thrown off course.   It was so much more than a fork on my path.   Imagi...

I feel the chill brush across my skin…             A memory flashes and the rain begins.   No gradual arrival or warning drop…             An emotional deluge comes and will not stop.   A thunderous jarring felt deep in my bones…             Reality slips and the wild wind moans.   In a flash of anger, lightning bursts out…             The storm gobbles up my feral shout.   Disorienting energy, light and deafening sound…             My spirit lurches and leaves the ground.   Tethered by binds that are not my own…                Beyond this body my being has grown. Darkness claws to close the gap… ...