Artificial Life: A Poem (8/15/2019)
I am finding social media to be the bane of my existence. I'm not saying I don't use it. Nor am I saying that I don't like it - it do! What I am saying is this - I am a real person who wants to engage with other humans, (as well as other creatures, nature and myself), in a manner worthy of my time. I want my relationships with others to be built on honest reality.
I need to engage in the art of conversation. I want to talk about dreams and aspirations as well as annoyances and irritants. I want to discuss your interests and learn about you and I want you to care enough about me to want to discuss my interests and learn about me. I don't want to forget how to communicate via the written word. I want a hand-written love letter that I can keep wrapped in ribbon in a special place. I want a heartfelt letter from a friend that shares their hart with me and knows I will treasure and keep the secrets they share. I want to recognize someone's handwriting on a envelope.
I want to connect in meaningful ways with people, and I want to have good friends. I don't believe that connecting via text, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snap Chat, email or other forms of social media should be our primary means of connecting.
I honestly cringe when someone refers to a person on Facebook as a "friend." NO! Unless you have seen that person's face and had a face-to-face conversation with them, or even maybe a voice conversation with them on the phone in the past 1-2 weeks, they are NOT your friend - they are barely, if at all, just an acquaintance.
I am as guilty as the next person of sitting idle while watching TV, scrolling through my phone in a mindless manner - being a voyeur in other people's lives. The problem with that? Well, first of all, we used to call that being a "peeping Tom" but now-a-days its just "keeping up with your 'friends' on Facebook." (I call bull shit - you're a peeping Tom!) Second of all, this usually happens with my husband right next to me on the couch. And that means that idle conversation and connection that keep people together and engaged is pushed to the side. Instead of being invested in our entertainment and each other, and maybe holding hands or giggling together over a shared joke or moment, we are focused on an alternate reality. A reality that, in fact, doesn't exist.
Think about it for a moment. What do you post? What do you share? Do you share the picture with your bra strap showing and the grin that makes you look like you are about to sneeze? Do you write sonnets about your "much anticipated weekend stay-cation" in which you didn't shower or put on a bra, pulled weeds, screamed at a garter snake and accidentally got snot on yourself when you sneezed while watering the garden? Did you post that picture with hearts and emojis of yourself the morning after you drank a smidge too much, forgot to take off your mascara, woke up in a puddle of drool with dragon-breath and sleep caked to your eyes? Or maybe you posted a transcript of the recent argument that you had with a friend or significant other that detailed the ways that you are falling short in the relationship? No? No "real life" posts? You only posted a pic of the cool concert you attended and that great pic of you and your love with the filter that makes your skin look flawless...right!
God help us, the problem is that so many people don't understand that what you see on social media is NOT reality. I had a friend who once sent me a lengthy email about all the things in their life that were going awry and how depressed they were and how they loved seeing my posts and knowing that I'd been blessed with such a wonderful life. It was a wake-up call for me, as at the time, I was struggling through some very intense life scenarios and found it almost insulting for someone to call my life blessed.
But that's the thing - this type of interaction is not reality. Our social media interaction allows us to craft a "story" of our lives. The only way that can be rectified is to live our lives with our friends and companions in person...face-to-face...in the messy reality that is life.
The other issue that arises as a result of the heavy curtain of social media anonymity is our new-found ability to "speak our truth" regardless of the affect that it may have on others. It's easy to turn a blind eye to the pain "my truth" and words may cause when I don't have to face the hurt on someone's face. But, I digress...
I long for a time not that far in the past. A time when our phones were for telephone calls. A time when our free time was about pursuing our interests and the interests of others. A time in which we were more connected as humans in our relationships. A time when we were more truthful with ourselves and others. I time when we were a little more "connected" despite being "disconnected." A time in which life wasn't so...artificial.
UPDATE: 8/19
Message from a friend:
"So I've been thinking about this article - which means it's well done :-) I have FB friends that I consider dear friends that I rarely communicate with outside of FB. My circle from high school, my RCPM folks, etc - I still consider them an important part of my life and if it wasn't for FB we would have lost touch years ago. I now know about their lives, their kids, etc. Social media when used for good not evil can be an amazing thing. Take it for what it's worth...and keep writing."
Reply to a friend:
hanks for reading...AND commenting. These are the conversations that I crave, enjoy and grow from.
I get what you are saying and I agree with you. I too have treasured connections that I would otherwise not have and it adds a dimension to my existence that is unique and, well, it IS our world today. I am able to keep in contact with friends and family all over the world that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to connect with. (What a blessing!).
I agree that when this type of connection it is part of balanced social engagement, it provides another amazing avenue of communication.
I suppose I am more frustrated/disappointed/worried about the unbalanced use that allows for the dismissal of person-to-person interaction and sometimes the delusional idea that the portrayal of life via social media is “real life” and that interaction on social media is a substitute for human interaction and engagement.
I fear the loss of our writing skills, our people skills and our ability as a society to be tactful and empathetic when hiding behind the shroud of safe anonymity that social media can provide.
I also detest coming second to a device when I’m the company of actual humans. When at a dinner or a friends house and suddenly everyone is on their phone in the lag of conversation...that concerns me. Are we losing our ability to learn about each other and participate in the art of conversation? Are our minds weak? Are we just succumbing to being rude, selfish and inadequate in personal relations?
I need to engage in the art of conversation. I want to talk about dreams and aspirations as well as annoyances and irritants. I want to discuss your interests and learn about you and I want you to care enough about me to want to discuss my interests and learn about me. I don't want to forget how to communicate via the written word. I want a hand-written love letter that I can keep wrapped in ribbon in a special place. I want a heartfelt letter from a friend that shares their hart with me and knows I will treasure and keep the secrets they share. I want to recognize someone's handwriting on a envelope.
I want to connect in meaningful ways with people, and I want to have good friends. I don't believe that connecting via text, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snap Chat, email or other forms of social media should be our primary means of connecting.
I honestly cringe when someone refers to a person on Facebook as a "friend." NO! Unless you have seen that person's face and had a face-to-face conversation with them, or even maybe a voice conversation with them on the phone in the past 1-2 weeks, they are NOT your friend - they are barely, if at all, just an acquaintance.
I am as guilty as the next person of sitting idle while watching TV, scrolling through my phone in a mindless manner - being a voyeur in other people's lives. The problem with that? Well, first of all, we used to call that being a "peeping Tom" but now-a-days its just "keeping up with your 'friends' on Facebook." (I call bull shit - you're a peeping Tom!) Second of all, this usually happens with my husband right next to me on the couch. And that means that idle conversation and connection that keep people together and engaged is pushed to the side. Instead of being invested in our entertainment and each other, and maybe holding hands or giggling together over a shared joke or moment, we are focused on an alternate reality. A reality that, in fact, doesn't exist.
Think about it for a moment. What do you post? What do you share? Do you share the picture with your bra strap showing and the grin that makes you look like you are about to sneeze? Do you write sonnets about your "much anticipated weekend stay-cation" in which you didn't shower or put on a bra, pulled weeds, screamed at a garter snake and accidentally got snot on yourself when you sneezed while watering the garden? Did you post that picture with hearts and emojis of yourself the morning after you drank a smidge too much, forgot to take off your mascara, woke up in a puddle of drool with dragon-breath and sleep caked to your eyes? Or maybe you posted a transcript of the recent argument that you had with a friend or significant other that detailed the ways that you are falling short in the relationship? No? No "real life" posts? You only posted a pic of the cool concert you attended and that great pic of you and your love with the filter that makes your skin look flawless...right!
God help us, the problem is that so many people don't understand that what you see on social media is NOT reality. I had a friend who once sent me a lengthy email about all the things in their life that were going awry and how depressed they were and how they loved seeing my posts and knowing that I'd been blessed with such a wonderful life. It was a wake-up call for me, as at the time, I was struggling through some very intense life scenarios and found it almost insulting for someone to call my life blessed.
But that's the thing - this type of interaction is not reality. Our social media interaction allows us to craft a "story" of our lives. The only way that can be rectified is to live our lives with our friends and companions in person...face-to-face...in the messy reality that is life.
The other issue that arises as a result of the heavy curtain of social media anonymity is our new-found ability to "speak our truth" regardless of the affect that it may have on others. It's easy to turn a blind eye to the pain "my truth" and words may cause when I don't have to face the hurt on someone's face. But, I digress...
I long for a time not that far in the past. A time when our phones were for telephone calls. A time when our free time was about pursuing our interests and the interests of others. A time in which we were more connected as humans in our relationships. A time when we were more truthful with ourselves and others. I time when we were a little more "connected" despite being "disconnected." A time in which life wasn't so...artificial.
ARTIFICIAL LIFE
by Autumn Boyet-Stinton
The
bright and perfect shot, in digital memory is caught.
Just
out of frame is found, life’s truths given no sound.
For
all you’re meant to see, is a beautiful life for me.
The
click has little regard, focus forced on life unmarred.
Rosy
lenses tint my world, and reality is left unfurled.
Not
an outright lie, but the camera beyond a fame does not pry.
But
know the artificial life, is one of hidden strife.
A
represented reality, is anything but true nor free.
Real
time does not exist, in a social media assist.
You
share but pick and choose, and authenticity you lose.
Simply
watching people live, no substance does that give.
The
truth is never seen, watching on a handheld screen.
A
newsfeed will deceive, and misleadings you may believe.
Irony
is that sadness can be real, based on deceptions posted with zeal.
But
success, happiness and joy, may be but a posted ploy.
Don’t
fall victim to this deceit, but with life become replete.
Choose
living life instead, lest connections go unsaid.
For
happiness is not found, in a photo album bound.
Scrolling
moments in society is rife, but beware…
…this
is the artificial life.
UPDATE: 8/19
Message from a friend:
"So I've been thinking about this article - which means it's well done :-) I have FB friends that I consider dear friends that I rarely communicate with outside of FB. My circle from high school, my RCPM folks, etc - I still consider them an important part of my life and if it wasn't for FB we would have lost touch years ago. I now know about their lives, their kids, etc. Social media when used for good not evil can be an amazing thing. Take it for what it's worth...and keep writing."
Reply to a friend:
hanks for reading...AND commenting. These are the conversations that I crave, enjoy and grow from.
I get what you are saying and I agree with you. I too have treasured connections that I would otherwise not have and it adds a dimension to my existence that is unique and, well, it IS our world today. I am able to keep in contact with friends and family all over the world that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to connect with. (What a blessing!).
I agree that when this type of connection it is part of balanced social engagement, it provides another amazing avenue of communication.
I suppose I am more frustrated/disappointed/worried about the unbalanced use that allows for the dismissal of person-to-person interaction and sometimes the delusional idea that the portrayal of life via social media is “real life” and that interaction on social media is a substitute for human interaction and engagement.
I fear the loss of our writing skills, our people skills and our ability as a society to be tactful and empathetic when hiding behind the shroud of safe anonymity that social media can provide.
I also detest coming second to a device when I’m the company of actual humans. When at a dinner or a friends house and suddenly everyone is on their phone in the lag of conversation...that concerns me. Are we losing our ability to learn about each other and participate in the art of conversation? Are our minds weak? Are we just succumbing to being rude, selfish and inadequate in personal relations?
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