SOUL MUD: Random Ramblings of my 24/7 Brain

I do not deny – I AM FULL OF SHIT!     Seriously.   I tend to be wrapped up in my feelings, my thoughts, my excuses, my life …my shit!   If honest, we have to admit that we are all active participants in a 24/7 shit show.   Our society is self-absorbed, self-consumed, pleasure-driven and rarely do we stop to think about how our actions, words and deeds effect anyone else.   Have you ever stopped to consider the things that simply roll off your tongue compared to any actual follow up that you make to those words?   Have you ever bumped into someone, had a quick cordial chat and ended with, “Let’s get coffee and catch up” or simply, “We should connect soon!” How many times have you walked away, rolled your eyes or said under your breath, “Yeah, right!” or “What a tool!”   You’ve done it…I’ve done it.   Yep!   FULL OF SHIT! How about this one:   You have hundreds of people you are connected with on any one of a plethora of social media platforms, right?   Me too!   Of those hun

I’m reading a book.   The name of the book is BlackFish City:   A Novel by Sam J. Miller (you should check it out on Amazon!).   It is a science-fiction book, which is not what I normally read.   However, I am enjoying this book.   Today, I read a line that stopped me in my tracks.   I read it and re-read it, and finally just sat and let the words tumble over and over in my mind.     “Life becomes significantly less stressful when you accept that your ignorance will always dwarf your knowledge.”   I can’t help but keep up the volley in my mind.   It goes something like this:   Book:   Life becomes significantly less stressful when you accept that your ignorance will always dwarf your knowledge…                               My brain:   …A free mind has humility. Book:   Life becomes significantly less stressful when you accept that your ignorance will always dwarf your knowledge…                               My brain:   …Seeking glory is an enslaving disease. Bo

There are times in my adult life that I am unable to do what "I" want.  I get bound up in the machinations of life that burden and weigh me down.  I know this is not unique to me, as is evident by the ever popular saying that you see all over that declares:  "I don't want to adult today!"  Most recently I am acutely aware of how life is railroading me and preventing me from carving out time to connect with my dearest friend.  As much as I hate it, this does happen every-so-often.  Our paths veer away from each other for a time.  And while I acutely feel her absence in my daily life as a hollow in my heart, the binds that connect us are strong and we always find our way back into the security of our close friendship.  Despite the fact that she remains in my heart and part of my being, the fact remains that I mourn her absence in my daily life.  I find that in the temporary distance I think of her more than ever.  I self-talk in my head in her voice and cons

My Own North Star By Autumn Boyet-Stinton  (4/3/2018)   Lost in life, wandering to and fro                aimless in my quest.     Tired, worn with little hope                I face yet another mighty test.            For daily trials do weight me down                and make me weary of the heart.   Overwhelmed, encumbered, trampled down                little joy does life impart.   And at my lowest wrought in pain                I struggling to find a reason. Yet something deep inside reminds me that                   to every pain there is a season. Wallowing in despair is seems                may be my human curse. But my humanity also lends to hope                beyond the hard I must traverse.   For while the darkness may seep in                it chills my very core. The cold awakens my instinct                and I recall that there is more.   Inside my heart there is a spark                that never dims nor dies.   My truest

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the term PEACEMAKER.    I have a friend whose husband is a Peacemaker – quite literally.  He is an activist, and artist and a person that inspires many people to kindness, happiness and in my case, to be true to my north start – the spark in my heart that is the truest most beautiful part of my being.  (I could digress into a whole other line of thinking when I begin contemplating my north star…but I’ll try to stay on track here!)  But, back to my friend’s husband…  He is very much in the public eye which, the more I think about it, is a difficult place to exist.  She recently told me that in his public life, he strives to walk the fine line of bringing people together and bridging the vast differences that polarize us.  That got me to thinking about the selfless manner in which he leads his life and brings his medicine to the world.  But, more than that, it got me to thinking about the type of person that I am…or more importantly, the ty